linuxaudio.org

RIP, although after hearing this (http://gazuga.net/stuph/ultrafunk.ogg)

I doubt it is going to be "in peace". --Hans
Pete Bessman wrote:
>To Whom it May Concern,

quoted text
>

>Mr. Bessman was found in the early AM of Sunday, February 19, dead in

>his basement, with a folded up and buttered frisbee lodged in his

>throat.  He etched his suicide note into his back with a steak knife

>(don't question it), explaining that a 40 hour work week and a 16 credit

>load at college had left effectively no time for hacking in the past

>seven months.  Feeling disgusted with himself, he decided to end things

>the honorable way.

>

>As a parting gift, he uploaded a work-in-progress track to

>http://gazuga.net/stuph/caves.ogg.  Little explanation is offered as to

>the nature and origins of this track, but that the deceased was found

>wearing a "SEGA does what Nintendon't" t-shirt may give us a clue into

>the mystery of this tune.  Considering that the deceased's bloodstream

>was coursing with methandrostenalone, it is likely that this song came

>about during a brief fit of rage --- but being a complete and hopeless

>nerd, this was expressed with dorky bitpop, as opposed to wanton

>violence and destruction.

>

>Relatives believe the track was composed entirely by the deceased, with

>percussion and synth provided by Specimen --- the project which, by

>having gone so long sans update, drove a rather morbid soul to a

>predictable end --- and with live guitar and bass combined together in

>Ardour.  The estimated amount of time invested in the track is around 2

>hours.  They further relate that the deceased intended to reanimate and

>terrorize the locals as a zombie, which is why his remains were

>unceremoniously cremated and dumped in a port-a-poopie.

>

>His sole friend, a certain humanoid calling himself Mr. Falcon, provided

>some interesting commentary --- once he had been properly restrained and

>sedated, that is.  "That fucker never stays dead," said the bereaved.

>"This one time, at a LAN party, he got so pissed off cuz he was losing

>that he ran outside screaming 'VALHALLA AWAITS,' and then curbed

>himself.  We're not sure how he pulled that off, but we were kinda glad

>for it, considering that we didn't have to listen to constant

>accusations of being 'fucking haxors' any more.  But whaddya know, I saw

>him a week later, arguing with a clerk at a grocery store because he

>thought he was getting ripped off on rutabagas.  He's a Jew, you know.

>Or rather, if you didn't know, you should be able to guess."

>

>The bereaved then began to speak incoherently about "the cleansing," and

>of a giant, three eyed ape that would descend from the heavens and force

>the vegetarians to eat fillet mignon.  We're not really sure what that

>was all about, but we take it that it won't belong before the "deceased"

>resurfaces.  It is for this reason that we advise against excessive

>celebration, since the resultant letdown that will surely arise when Mr.

>Bessman shows up again might cause a stroke in the poor soul who thought

>he wouldn't have to hear any more crude penis jokes.

>

>Technically speaking, Mr. Bessman is survived by no one, although we

>thought it worth mentioning that he had a doll named "Zirp" that is

>constructed of old scabs and reproductive fluids.

>

>For CBS News, this is Dan Rathers, saying "Nobody can touch the

>integrity of my journalistic standards."

>

>

>

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